God Love the Dreamers

In his book God, Dreams, and Revelation, Morton Kelsey wonders what ever became of dreaming in the Christian tradition. The scriptures are filled with dreamers, from Joseph with the coat of many colors to Joseph the father of Jesus. In the scriptures, dreams and visions abound. But not so much for 21st century Christians. Modern humans don’t know what to do with dreams, so we mostly ignore them. Our pragmatic approach to living leads us to be pretty suspicious of waking dreams as well. We’re more apt to form business plans that will bring a profit than listen to the dreams and desires of our hearts, which might lead us to things that do not make profits or much sense. And that is the big problem with dreams. They don’t seem to make sense. The ones we have at night are so heavily laden with personal symbol and imagery that they are hard to understand. The dreams we have in our waking hours, dreams of what we wish we could do and what we feel called to do, are often very out of touch with practical living. Or so it seems on the surface. Many times I have dismissed something as impractical, only to watch as some braver soul made it a reality. Yesterday I was looking through our collection of High Calling bloggers who write mostly about faith and culture when I stumbled across a blog I had not seen before.

It’s listed in our system as "Dancing for Freedom,” by a woman named Gabi. However, the graphic at the top says “New eyes, they break my heart, but oh the life that I am seeing.” I find the blog itself has no clear title. I like that. This is the blog of someone who is searching for who she will be and what she will do. Maybe having no title makes sense. I got hooked by this blog (You know how that can happen) and spent a long time going through her old entries. As best I can piece together the story, this 20-something woman read about a disaster in Africa and ended up going on a short-term mission trip of some kind. Within a year or so she began to form her own dream, a dream she believes God has given her. She dreams of moving to Uganda, of leaving behind all that she knows and all the sorts of things her culture tells her she needs - marriage, children, money, etc. She dreams of opening a house for children in Uganda. This dream is so powerful and compelling that it has driven away all other desires.

In my heart i carry no intention of finding the ”perfect man”. i have no desire to marry. money means absolutely nothing to me. i would happily simplify my belongings into one suitcase and dance. i have never been drunk. i have never visited a night-club. any voice i choose to listen to will tell me this is not normal behaviour or a normal life for a twenty something to be living. society would laugh in the face of my non-existent career plan. every night i lie awake and in my head are images of the walls of the bedroom my girls will sleep in in our home in Uganda. images of the littlest ones sitting on the floor in the lounge doing puzzles flood my spirit. my plans for greatness are founded solely, on how i can best make these little treasures more fully feel like the royalty that they were created to walk as. the only measure of success i’ll break for is whether i have taught them to trust Him deeply enough. none of this makes me normal. none of this means i will ever live an ordinary life, but i would far rather lose myself in the depths of Him, than be bought by a culture that cheapens grace. 10-6-09

Admit it. You wish you had a dream like this. A dream that was so compelling and so radical and so “you,” that you would pine for it like a woman pines for her lost love. A dream that lines up so well with what Christ calls us to do that you know the Lord God gave you this dream. The only question would be: How would you make that dream a reality?

Plenty of dreamers do make their crazy dreams come true. Saint Francis, Mother Theresa, the Cosbys, who envisioned the Church of the Savior in Washington DC, Billy Graham, and others. People really do have big dreams of serving God and see them through. Not without considerable sacrifice and loss, of course. Most of God’s callings involve some form of taking up a cross, which I believe means that something in you has to die. So there are these dreamers out there. And our young blogger Gabi is one of them. Whether she ends up moving to Africa and forming a home for children remains to be seen. It will take courage and vision and sacrifice. Christ has already changed her heart, so the hardest work is done.

Still, Gabi faces an uphill battle. Many people have such dreams and never see them through. The terrible thing is, the Church is often the one that ruins dreams like this. Church people have an ironic tendency to be rather careful and cautious. We tend to think inside our institutional boxes, particularly with young women. Mother church likes to keep her young ones safe. That’s understandable, but what if Christ calls them away from us to a distant land? What Gabi needs is a community of faith that will ask hard questions, but not be afraid of hard answers. She is struggling. She is wondering if she can do this. She needs her brothers and sisters in Christ to stand beside her.

Oh how could He have made me for this? How could something so crazy be accepted by so many hearts? Would people tell me if they really thought my dream was un-attainable? I really cant do this. It is impossible in every way. I need people to surround me and hold my hands up when they begin to tremble. I need people to speak destiny over my lack. I need people who will begin to pray before my lips form the request. I need hearts that will be strong when mine is breaking. I need people to share this dream with other dreamers. I need Him to break into hearts and catch them alight with His vision. I need Him to replace our eyes with His. I cannot do this as an island. 10-12-09

Reading Gabi’s blog just about broke my heart. I am almost 50, and I have already let several strong dreams die. And there is something that Jeanene and I feel that God wants us to do. A new dream is being born. I’m not ready to talk about it, but Gabi’s blog is making me ask some hard questions. How many dreams will I let die before my soul dies? How many times will Christ call me to service and I refuse? How many times will I deny what is in my heart?