Be Careful What You Say

I try to be a good Christian at work. I try to follow Jesus' teachings. I try to model humility, kindness, and compassion. I try to buy a box of Thin Mints whenever a Girl Scout parent/coworker asks. I try to live so that people say, "Wow, I want whatever he has!"

But I continually fall short of that ideal. And not just a little short. Short like a bowling shirt fashion show in Milan. Or a retirement home skatepark.

Judging Others Harshly

Inevitably, when I fall, it has something to do with my tongue. It manifested itself again when a coworker recently told me that another colleague was leaving the company.

Coworker: "Did you hear that Suzy So-and-So left?" (The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Her real name is Betty.)

Me: "Oh, thank goodness!"

Coworker: "Why do you say that?"

Me: "Are you kidding?! That woman was a fool! I've never met a bigger fool! She's the curator of the Fool Hall of Fame! If there were a category for it, she would win an Oscar for best work performance by a fool! Google 'fool' and she has over a million hits!"

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm mortified that might be an actual transcript of the conversation. (Think about that: How would our conversations be different if people could read a transcript of what we said about them? After all, God hears everything we say. Meditate on that, Mr. "Critical-of-Bowling-Shirts" Man!)

Collateral Tongue Damage

Although the conversation was brief, it did lots of damage. I damaged Betty and I damaged myself. And I destroyed my witness to my coworker. How will she react when I invite her to church or offer her scripture to address a problem she's facing? Instead of remembering my purchase of Thin Mints, when she thinks of me, the word "fool" will come to mind (and not in a good way).

Scripture warns us about the power of our words. I wince when I read Jesus' directive in Matthew 12:37, for instance. "For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." James understood the nature of the tongue when he wrote, "No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison" (James 3:8).

So if the tongue is untamable, what are my options? First, when I do fall, I need to repent. (And when I say "first," I usually mean after trying to deny it, claiming someone else said it, and then pretending I was "only kidding.") That's why I need God's forgiveness and grace. Repentance includes apologizing to the person I criticized.

I also ask my Christian friends to hold me accountable to help prevent it from happening again. It's not an easy job. But they do get one benefit: they learn a variety of ways for describing someone as a "fool."

Questions for discussion:

1. What do you do when your words fail to honor God?
2. How do you prevent your words from harming others?