Earn the Right to Speak - Show Up

Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear.”

Every time I read this story in the past, I always focused on the soil: What kind of soil is my heart? But then I read it recently, and I thought about my children’s hearts. What kind of soil do they represent? It occurred to me that the state of their hearts changes on a continual basis.

My job is to plant seeds continuously because at any given moment their soil will be ready to produce a crop. But if I miss that window, I don’t know when it might come again.

I recently volunteered to help our church’s youth minister on Wednesday nights. He needed a small group leader for middle school boys, and that sounded like fun. I like kids. I like small groups. I could do that.

Then I met the kids. The youth minister has attracted a totally different crowd on Wednesday nights than come to church on Sunday mornings. These boys are unruly, irreverent, and ungodly. They really caught me off guard. It was everything I could do just to get them to pay attention.

I came home in a terrible mood. I found myself judging the youth minister for allowing such irreverence. I judged the kids for not being better. I judged their parents for not “raising them right.” I was in self-preservation mode, and I was ready to call him and pull the plug on the whole thing. I didn’t want to go back.

Then God convicted me. Why was I doing this? Why had I felt led to do this? Was it for me? Was it so that I could earn some brownie points with the church? Did I care about these kids at all, or was I just interested in myself?

Each of these kids’ hearts are in a different state. Some of them have shallow hearts that don’t allow roots to grow. Some of them have thorns throughout their entire beings. But there will be moments in their lives when a seed will be able to find a special place in their soul. The thorns will die off for a season. A crack in the rock under the shallow soil will open and allow roots to grow deep. I recently prayed with my wife after one of my evenings with the boys. I asked God to give me a heart for them. I want to long for them. I want to like them and experience tenderness towards them. Honestly, I’m not there yet. I am still making myself go each Wednesday night. But each time with them breaks my heart for them a little more (and I think they are getting used to me too). I am slowly earning the right to speak into their lives, and I am getting into a position where God can use me as a farmer to plant a seed in the soil of their heart.

I must invest time each week, so I will be there when the soil is ready. In fact, being there each week is part of the process for preparing the soil.