What Can You Say?

Grief and Tragedy make us uncomfortable. We don't know what to say to someone who is grieving, but we feel we must say something. And so we often say things in desperation, hoping to comfort someone who, truth be told, cannot be comforted. Christian people often feel a need to answer for God and explain how God is involved or not involved with death and suffering.

My friend Sarah Bickle is losing her small son. He is dying of cancer. That's the reality of the situation. Sarah is also a deeply committed Christian. Sarah is a guest blogger at Real Live Preacher. Her post offers us a rare glimpse into the heart of a mother who is losing a child. She tells us what people have said to her, trying to comfort her. It's a hard thing to read, but something that you should read.

"During Thomas’s illness, we have been cared for by a lot of people of faith. Of course they are burdened with sadness for us and for Thomas. There is a secondary grief, however, that seems to flicker behind our saddest conversations. Questions like, “Why weren’t our prayers answered?” or “Why won’t God make Thomas better?” are unsaid but present.

Those are good questions, ones that theologians have been arguing over for hundreds of years. I don’t have any good answers, but I’ve had a lot of bad ones suggested to me since Thomas became ill. There are a couple theories that I pretty sure are bull-oney:" Read More.