Borrowing and Lending: Relationships Matter

Proverbs 22:7 says, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.” Verses like this one imply that it isn’t always ideal—or even wise—to borrow money. However, “Thou shalt not borrow money” didn’t make the list of commandments. So, in a world where borrowing is a cultural norm and is not explicitly forbidden, when is it okay—or not okay—for Christians to borrow money?

From my years of experience as a financial planner, I’ve come up with two questions that every Christian should consider before borrowing money. But first, let me tell you a parenting story.

Tempted by Shiny Things

“Sure, daughters of mine, you can watch your older sister get her ears pierced,” I said. Rookie mistake. You see, the stores where little girls get their ears pierced sell shiny things. These shiny things silently call out to the girls, “You must have me! Life will have no meaning if you do not buy me!”

As my eight-year-old daughter, Kaylie, sat amidst a sea of such objects, a pair of hot pink glasses with rhinestones called to her. She could no longer bear to live life without them. The problem: these glasses cost seven dollars, and she only had two dollars.

In a moment of parenting genius, my wife decided to teach Kaylie the concept of borrowing and lending. After a brief explanation of the transaction, the two agreed to a no-interest loan, to be repaid by Kaylie performing extra chores. It was a win-win. Our daughter had the instant gratification of obtaining what was (in her mind) the greatest ocular accessory ever created by mankind, and we immediately shot up the 2014 “Best Parents Ever” rankings.

Fast forward a couple of days. Kaylie began working to repay her debt. Her sisters noticed and decided to work to earn extra money, as well. When the time came to be paid, my wife handed the oldest two sisters five dollars each. But she handed Kaylie five dollars, and then immediately took it back to repay her loan. “That’s no fun!” Kaylie said despondently, through a few tears. (Goodbye, 2014 “Best Parents Ever” award. Oh well, there’s always next year.)

Question #1: Is borrowing money going to suck the fun out of your purchase?

After meeting with thousands of people about a wide range of financial issues, I’ve noticed that many adults handle debt similarly to the way my eight-year-old did. Borrowing often belatedly sucks the fun out of otherwise-exciting purchases. Why does that matter? It matters because of where that path leads. After stressful stops in Regretville, Frustrationtown, and Overworkopolis, you end up further away from your friends, your family, and your God … which brings me to question #2.

Question #2: Does borrowing money have the potential to strain a relationship?

Relationships matter to God. We know this because of Ephesians 4:2-3 (“ … be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace”) and John 15:13 (“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends”), as well as the rest of the Bible. Also, the way Jesus lived showed us his priorities. We modern Christians worry about the financial risks of borrowing money. But Jesus would have been concerned with the relational risk of borrowing money.

The Problem with Debt

Here’s the problem with debt: generally, debt strains and even tears apart relationships, rather than making them stronger. Verses like Luke 6:34 (which tells us that it is of no benefit to us to lend to people who are able to repay us) and Deuteronomy 23:19 (which tells the Israelites not to charge interests among themselves) make zero sense in the business world, but they make perfect sense in a world where people matter more than money. I think the heart of the Bible’s teaching on debt is this: at all costs, don’t allow the business of lending and/or borrowing to damage a relationship.

Relationships matter.

If you are considering borrowing money and your answer is yes to either of these questions (and experience tells me that it usually is), then you shouldn’t borrow. Not because—as my daughter cried—“That’s no fun!” Rather, you shouldn’t borrow money because it isn’t worth the risk.

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Borrowing and Lending

Is it okay for Christians (or Christian businesses) to borrow money? To encourage others to borrow money? To lend money? What does the Bible have to say about appropriate interest rates for loans and credit? Come join us at our virtual table for a discussion about Borrowing and Lending. It’s difficult to purchase a car or a home or an education without agreeing to pay installments on that commodity for many years into the future. Is this what God has in mind for us and for our resources, or are we overthinking things here? Are there practical steps we can take to avoid borrowing money, and does it matter if we’re borrowing money from a family member or from a financial institution? We welcome your stories, your thoughts, and your experiences, whether you’re a borrower or a lender. What have you learned about God, his great gift of redemption, and his work of restoration through the experiences of borrowing and lending the resources entrusted to you?

Featured image by Mary Anne Morgan. Used with Permission. Source via Flickr.