Homemaking

Homemaking as a vocation has had very bad publicity in recent years. The popular media delight in caricaturing homemakers. She—such a person is usually, but certainly not always, female—is pictured as having no intellectual awareness; she makes no contribution to the family income; she has no glamour, status or productivity.

For Christians, the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-41) seems to confirm what the pundits of the media are saying: homemaking, at least the kind practiced by Martha, is second best. Many a good homemaker has had a sneaking sympathy for Martha. After all, somebody had to prepare the food and do the dishes! Yet implicit in Jesus’ approval of Mary is a condemnation of Martha’s busyness.

It is not surprising that full-time homemakers make up an increasingly small percentage of the population. Is homemaking a profession that is still necessary or valid? Is an intelligent and competent person wasting God-given talents when deciding to stay at home to care for the family? What do homemakers need from others to save them from extinction? To answer these questions, we need to clarify what homemaking is and see what Christians can bring to it, following the examples of the biblical role models we have been given.

What Is Homemaking?

Perhaps the most dreaded question a homemaker faces is “So, what do you do?” When we meet strangers in social situations, this is often the conversation opener. The answer “I am a homemaker” often terminates the conversation abruptly, and the questioner moves off to network more profitably elsewhere. If there is a further question, often it is “So, what do you do all day?” uttered in a tone of incredulity if the homemaker does not also have a job outside the home. The problem is that the answer seems so mundane: “I care for my family; I clean and tidy and organize the house; I plan and cook and serve meals; I welcome and provide for our guests.” It is hard to express the intangibles: being there for others, creating a warm and sheltering place, teaching basic values, modeling the attitudes and ways of God.

Homemaking, if practiced lovingly and conscientiously, ranges far beyond the physical tasks that make up the day-to-day routine. It can be defined as that which develops and nurtures the family at its central core—its traditions, beliefs, values and strengths and the unique character of the family. Homemakers care for the physical surroundings and physical needs, not as ends in themselves, but as part of the overall fostering of the family’s well-being (see Adornment; Eating; Sleeping; Walking).

In Jesus’ ministry we see how physical acts can have both practical application and spiritual significance. He washed his disciples’ feet because they were hot and dirty, thus making his companions feel welcome and comfortable (John 13:5). Yet it was also an opportunity for him to describe the cleansing of forgiveness. Creating and caring for a physical environment bring into being an atmosphere in which people are loved, cherished and nurtured in their whole being.

Homemaking is an act of human creativity. The attitude and personality of homemakers, the spirit with which they approach their task, shape and define the homes they make. In the original act of creation God brought order out of chaos. Establishing a home exercises a similar kind of creativity. Homemaking is also an expression of providence. It maintains and enhances order within and around the family, much as God maintains and orders the universe. An obvious point of difference, as any homemaker would be quick to acknowledge, is that God’s cosmic order has lasted rather longer than the order created in a home! The finished product—the home, which is much more than a house—is as unique as are the creatures that God made.

Christian Homemaking

While every home is a personal piece of art, homes that are fashioned by Christians will share certain characteristics because of their common striving to be obedient to God. Just as an artist’s work, however individual, may still be representative of a particular school or style, so the Christian’s home will show evidence of the work of the Holy Spirit. It will be marked by the presence of (or the seeking after) the fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). The homemaker, because of the nature of her work at the very heart of the home, is able to influence those in her care and affect the atmosphere in the home.

If love, the first-mentioned fruit of the Spirit, is present in a home, how will it show itself? Christian love, as distinct from the secular version, is defined by God’s love for us. In sending Jesus to live his love before us, God proved in the flesh the value of unconditional love. In sending the Spirit to indwell us, God showed us love intimately involved with the everyday life of the believer. This is not love from afar; this is love close up. A homemaker has an unusual opportunity to exemplify incarnational love because so much of her—or his—work must be done in the details of daily life, and her presence is as important as anything that she does. Love then will not be merely intellectual or emotional but gloriously practical and down-to-earth, that is, truly incarnational.

Similarly, peacefulness is a goal of the Christian homemaker. This does not mean the absence of noise, debate or argument. A home may have occasional or even frequent discord, as well as constant happy noise, and still be a place of peace. Here conflicts are resolved in an atmosphere of love, forgiveness and mutual submission to God’s will. Peace is an intangible phenomenon. A home may be superficially peaceful yet, underneath the veneer of calm, full of hatred and disunity. True peace ultimately can only come from God because forgiveness is its most important ingredient. Those who live in peace with God and themselves are more able to generate and promote peacefulness in the home. Alongside incarnational character, then, there is in homemaking a redemptive dimension as well.

The best homemakers manage to create a place where people matter more than material things. This often marks the difference between a housekeeper and a homemaker, as shown in the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was “worried and upset about things” (Luke 10:41). Her concentration was primarily on the pots and pans and food; she seemed to see them as an end in themselves. Mary chose to sit near Jesus and listen to him. In so doing she demonstrated her priority: her friendship with Jesus. Mary may have seen the things that Martha did as one way to express love and hospitality. But the way Mary chose, the homemaking rather than the housekeeping way, was clearly acceptable to Jesus.

Homemakers’ Contribution

The commitment of homemakers to care for the home and family clearly benefits those around them. Less obvious, perhaps, is their enormous contribution to the whole of society. They have much to give the neighborhoods in which they live. They are often at the forefront of the army of volunteers whose hard work adds so much to the general good. They can give the gift of time, and their focus on caring for others makes them natural resources for churches and community organizations. At a time when the disintegration of the traditional family is contributing to serious societal ills, they proclaim by their career choice that family means more than the status, money and job satisfaction offered by a career outside the home. In fact they are actually making a significant contribution to the welfare and renewal of society!

Traditionally homemaking has included the care and nurture of children. (Of course, there are many examples of wonderful homemakers who did not combine these two roles.) The decline of homemakers has brought about a crisis in our society: who will care for the children? In the confusing debate over what constitutes the best environment for child rearing, some truths are clear: children thrive in an atmosphere that is stable, loving and consistent, where they are respected as unique individuals and given both guidance and freedom appropriate to their age and ability. There are a number of good reasons, besides historical precedence, for the family’s homemaker to care for its children. Homemakers have the time flexibility that allows for adaptation to children’s changing needs as they grow. Being cared for in their own home enhances their sense of security and emotional stability. The homemaker’s commitment to putting people first makes her an ideal caregiver.

What Homemakers Need

If little value is placed on their skills, homemakers are vulnerable to low self-esteem. They need strong encouragement and affirmation from family and friends. Low self-esteem can also result from a lack of a sense of identity, because identity is closely associated in our society with what job we do. Like all other Christians, homemakers need to find their primary source of identity in their relationship with God. It is not what we do but who we are—children of God—that gives our lives worth and purpose.

In a profession that offers little in the way of status, homemakers need positive role models. They are unlikely to find them in the popular mass media, where intelligent women run corporations and homemakers have traded their brains for dishcloths. Even the male homemaker in a well-known comic strip is depicted as overwhelmed by chaos, sunk in lethargy and lacking in decisiveness. One picture of the ideal homemaker is found in Proverbs 31. Here is a woman who is industrious, loving, honorable; she has status in her community, the love of her husband, the respect of her children. It is a compelling picture and one that has strengthened homemakers for many generations. Another glimpse is provided in Romans 16:3-5. Priscilla was a homemaker and was involved in the family business; she also cohosted with her husband a church in her home and extended hospitality to itinerant Christian workers.

The Example of Jesus

We must not overlook the best biblical role model—Jesus. At first glance this may seem either absurd (he did not even have a home) or obvious (all Christians are called to walk in his footsteps and live as he lived). Looking closely at Jesus’ interaction with various people, we see a man with a homemaker’s heart. He too worked at physical tasks that were important but also imbued with spiritual significance. He had neither a home nor a nuclear family, yet he was the quintessential homemaker.

Jesus was concerned about the physical well-being of those he met. He healed people because he cared about them, not just to demonstrate his miraculous power or to authenticate his claims. He urged his disciples to feed the hungry crowds. Commentators have discussed the feeding of the multitude in terms of Jesus’ challenge to his disciples: he wanted to stretch their faith, to encourage them to trust him even as they took on a greater leadership role. Yet it is equally true to say that he wanted to feed them because they were hungry; he felt compassion for both their spiritual (Mark 6:34) and physical (Matthew 15:32) need.

A similar incident occurred on the shore of the Sea of Tiberias after Jesus’ resurrection (John 21). When the disciples returned to the shore after a night of fishing, they found Jesus barbecuing fish for their breakfast. Maybe, as some have suggested, he wanted to prove by eating that his resurrected body was a real one, not a ghostly apparition. Yet he also must have known how hungry they would have been after a night of fishing. By preparing their breakfast, he was reminding them of his deep abiding love. He wanted them to experience the warmth of the fire in the chill of the morning. The reality of his presence must have brought all the joy of a homecoming. On that shore he made a home for them where the meeting of their physical needs coincided with the meeting of their emotional and spiritual needs. He did it because he loved them. Here is the essence of homemaking.

As Jesus spoke with his disciples about his ascension, he gave an intriguing glimpse into his occupation until they would be reunited with him for eternity. “I go and prepare a place for you,” he told them, “that where I am you may be also” (John 14:3 RSV). The image is a profoundly moving one: Jesus, who knows us intimately and loves us boundlessly, is preparing a home for us in which to spend eternity. An occupation so honored by the Lord Jesus is surely one that any of his followers can be proud to pursue.

» See also: Family Traditions

» See also: Hobbies and Crafts

» See also: Hospitality

» See also: Love

» See also: Marriage

» See also: Neighborhood

» See also: Volunteer Work

References and Resources

R. Andre, Homemakers: The Forgotten Workers (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1981); W. Droel, Homemakers (Chicago: ACTA, 1990).

—Susan Norman